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When a professor insists computer science is X but not Y, have compassion for his graduate students.

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Compassion Computer Graduate Instist Professor Science Student

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

“Toward what end, toward what end?”-but do not ask it too often lest you pass up the fun of programming for the constipation of bittersweet philosophy.
ALAN PERLIS

Bittersweet End Fun Least Often Pass Philosophy Program Toward
FORTRAN is not a flower but a weed – it is hardy, occasionally blooms, and grows in every computer.
ALAN PERLIS

Bloom Computer Flower Fortean Grow Hardy Occasionally Weed
There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.
ALAN PERLIS

Error Program Third Way Work
Computer Science is embarrassed by the computer.
ALAN PERLIS

Computer Embarrasses Science
Adapting old programs to fit new machines usually means adapting new machines to behave like old ones.
ALAN PERLIS

Adapt Behave Machine Mean Old One Program Usual
In computing, the mean time to failure keeps getting shorter.
ALAN PERLIS

Compute Failure Get Mean Shorter Time
I think it is inevitable that people program poorly.
ALAN PERLIS

Inevitable People Poorly Program Think
I don’t think we are. I think we’re responsible for stretching them, setting them off in new directions, and keeping fun in the house.
ALAN PERLIS

Direction House Keep Responsible Set Stretch Think
You’ve solved the wrong problem. Work hard to improve.
ALAN PERLIS

Hard Improve Problem Solve Word Wrong
I think that it’s extraordinarily important that we in computer science keep fun in computing.
ALAN PERLIS

Compute Computer Extraordinary Fun Important Science Think
One can only display complex information in the mind.
ALAN PERLIS

Complex Display Information Mind Only
There is no such thing as a free variable.
ALAN PERLIS

Free Such Thing Variable
In English every word can be verbed.
ALAN PERLIS

English Language Language Programming Languages
Every reader should ask himself periodically.
ALAN PERLIS

Every Raeder Himself Periodically
Don’t have good ideas if you aren’t willing to be responsible for them.
ALAN PERLIS

Good Idea Responsible Them Will
Often it is the means that justify the ends: goals advance technique and technique survives even when goal structures crumble.
ALAN PERLIS

Advance Crumble End Justify Often Structure Survive Technique

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