Illogically, I tend to assume that if you ( Philip Larkin) dream of caning schoolgirls bottoms, it disqualifies you from dismissing half the nation as work-shy.
ALAN BENNETTBut the headmaster happened to have been to Cambridge and decided to try and push some of us towards Oxford and Cambridge.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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[B]riefing is not reading. In fact it is the antithesis of reading. Briefing is terse, factual and to the point.
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I turned down a knighthood. It would be like having to wear a suit every day of your life.
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God doesn’t do notes, either. Did Jesus Christ say, “Can I be excused the Crucifixion?” No!
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But the headmaster happened to have been to Cambridge and decided to try and push some of us towards Oxford and Cambridge.
ALAN BENNETT -
I bet Tom Stoppard doesn’t have to do this’ or There is no doubt David Hare would have deputed this to an underling.’
ALAN BENNETT -
Had your forefathers, Wigglesworth, been as stupid as you are, the human race would never have succeeded in procreating itself.
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I lack what the English call character, by which they mean the power to refrain.
ALAN BENNETT -
Put him in a nice detached villa and he’d never have written a word.
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We have fish and chips, which W. and I fetch from the shop in Settle market-place.
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The masters had no idea what was expected of you in the scholarship exam, so you just had to busk it really.
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To play Trivial Pursuit with a life like mine could be said to be a form of homeopathy.
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Life is like a box of sardines and we are all looking for the key.
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A book is a device to ignite the imagination.
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I have never understood disliking for war. It panders to instincts already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic establishment.
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You must take people as they come. Remember, too that though you will generally know more about the condition than the patient, it is the patient who has the condition and this if nothing else bestows on him or her a kind of wisdom.
ALAN BENNETT






