Cancer, like any other illness, is a bore.
ALAN BENNETTThe longer I practise medicine, the more convinced I am there are only two types of cases: those that involve taking the trousers off and those that don’t.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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Imagine that. Per person. This means that if the time scale is diminished in proportion to that of space it would be quite possible for the whole story of Greece and Rome to be played out between farts.
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Polly: Education with socialists, it’s like sex, all right as long as you don’t have to pay for it.
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Our perspective on the past alters. Looking back, immediately in front of us is dead ground.
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Have you ever thought, headmaster, that your standards might perhaps be a little out of date?
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If, for instance, we’d made the film after the show had been to Broadway, it would have been exactly the same film but we would have been assured that they would have understood it.
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I’m not good at precise, coherent argument. But plays are suited to incoherent argument, put into the mouths of fallible people.
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There is no such thing as a good script, onlya good film, and I’m conscious that my scripts often read better than they play.
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Had your forefathers, Wigglesworth, been as stupid as you are, the human race would never have succeeded in procreating itself.
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I have never understood disliking for war. It panders to instincts already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic establishment.
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Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.
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Children always assume the sexual lives of their parents come to a grinding halt at their conception.
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The masters had no idea what was expected of you in the scholarship exam, so you just had to busk it really.
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It was the kind of library he had only read about in books.
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I dont know whether you’ve ever looked into a miner’s eyes for any length of time, that is. Because it is the loveliest blue you’ve ever seen.
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A book, as it were, closes the book.
ALAN BENNETT