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Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I’m praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.

Al Yankovic

I don’t really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I’ve never been to therapy so there’s probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don’t know.
AL YANKOVIC

Attention Crave Look Person Probably Stuff Therapy
About four or five months ago, at a dinner in New York, John made the very nice offer of my being guest editor for an issue of MAD and I thought about it for about half a nanosecond and decided that was a pretty good idea.
AL YANKOVIC

Editor Five Good Guest Idea Issue Month Nanosecond Nice Offer Pretty
I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.
AL YANKOVIC

Discover Entirely Gave Make Meat Needless Soon Up
Whenever I do a parody it’s not meant to make you hate anybody’s music really.
AL YANKOVIC

Anybody Hate Make Music Parody Really
When I started out, I didn’t feel like I was really accepted in the music or comedy communities, and I was somewhere on the edge, but now I feel like I’m accepted in both, which is extremely gratifying.
AL YANKOVIC

Accept Comedy Community Feel Gratifying Like Music Somewhere Start
People that were a little nerdy in high school would look up to me and know it gets better.
AL YANKOVIC

Get Better People School
In a genre where most of the artists are one-hit wonders, I’ve been able to hang around longer than most “serious” acts. I pride myself in being a very talented leech.
AL YANKOVIC

Around Artist Genre Hang Longer Most Serious Talent Wonder
I have a long-standing history of respecting artists’ wishes.
AL YANKOVIC

History Long Respect Stand Wish
Pop culture’s gotten much more disposable.
AL YANKOVIC

Culture Disposable More Pop Gotten
I do a lot of different things, sometimes at the same time, and it’s very difficult to figure out where I fit.
AL YANKOVIC

Different Difficult Figure Out Same Sometimes Thing
You don’t need to be defined by your job.
AL YANKOVIC

Defined Job Need
You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.
AL YANKOVIC

Bagel Face Pitchfork Remove Staple Wanna
So that was a joke that I continue up to this very day.
AL YANKOVIC

Continue Day Joke That Up Very
You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.
AL YANKOVIC

Bungee Love Lower Relationship Strand Tower
Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don’t make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows.
AL YANKOVIC

Gross Hamburger Many Out Sick Something Year
I don’t like to label myself. I know I’m very hard to pigeonhole.
AL YANKOVIC

Hard Know Label Like Myself Pigeon

Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I’m praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.

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Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I’m praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.

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