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On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!

Al Yankovic

I do a lot of different things, sometimes at the same time, and it’s very difficult to figure out where I fit.
AL YANKOVIC

Different Difficult Figure Out Same Sometimes Thing
It fit pretty nicely into my schedule because we’d pretty much finished the bulk of promotion for Mandatory Fun and were just getting geared up for the World Tour so this was a nice time for me to be working on it.
AL YANKOVIC

Bulk Finish Fit Mandatory Nicely Pretty Promotion Scheule
You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but don’t step on my blue suede shoes.
AL YANKOVIC

Choose Our Shoe Step Suede Underwear Want
I think that was the genesis of my polka medleys, because every rock song I played on the accordion just sounded like a polka and my friends thought it was funny.
AL YANKOVIC

Friend Funny Genesis Medley Polka Rock Song Soun Think
So I’m one of the few celebrities that got to do a repeat performance on ‘The Simpsons,’ which I’m very flattered by.
AL YANKOVIC

Celebrity Few Flatter Perform Repeat
I think I’m equally as abusive as the editors normally are for the “Letters and Tomatoes” column, which is the fan mail part of MAD Magazine and an ongoing feature.
AL YANKOVIC

Abusive Column Editor Equally Letter Mad Normal Ongoing Think Tomato
I cut my teeth playing rock songs on the accordion when I was a teenager and my friends always thought that was extremely amusing.
AL YANKOVIC

Accordion Amuse Cut Extreme Paly Rock Song Teenage
I’m obviously not a rapper, and I don’t have any claims to be one, really.
AL YANKOVIC

Claim Obvious One Rapper Real
Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.
AL YANKOVIC

Arm Autograph Come Next Permanent Show Somebody Time Up
I’m just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.
AL YANKOVIC

Boot Esteem Good Grovel Hunk Low Nose Self Slime Worthless
When I was a kid, I thought I was going to be an architect, because when I was 12 years old I had a guidance counselor that convinced me that that was the best career choice for me.
AL YANKOVIC

Architect Career Choice Counselor Go Guidance Kid Old Twelve Year
A lot of rap songs don’t usually have a lot of melody per se.
AL YANKOVIC

Melody Rap Song Usually
My wife went off with Elvis.
AL YANKOVIC

Off Went Wife
If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.
AL YANKOVIC

Avoid Discuss Heat Paper Political Politics Religion Toilet
I’m an ugly girl, My face makes you hurl, Sad I have it, I should bag it. Acne everywhere, Unwanted facial hair. I’m a relation to Frankenstein’s creation.
AL YANKOVIC

Acne Bag Everywhere Facial Girl Hair Make Ugly Unwanted
You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.
AL YANKOVIC

Bagel Face Pitchfork Remove Staple Wanna

On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!

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On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!

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Popular Authors

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