You know, Lincoln was funny. I don’t think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you’re funny.
AL FRANKENBut God told me that He/She/It had actually chosen Al Gore by making sure that Gore won the popular vote and, God thought, the Electoral College. ‘That worked for everyone else,’ God said.
More Al Franken Quotes
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I’ve spent my entire career being a satirist.
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Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad and helping your loved one grow.
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All concluded that Russia did in fact interfere in the 2016 election in order to, quote, help President-elect Trump’s election chances when possible by discrediting Secretary Clinton.
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And terror is indiscriminate murder of civilians to make a political point.
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Oh, no, you’re kidding.’ I go, ‘No, I’m really honest.’
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We need to be pro-science; we have to go back to science.
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Too many people don’t protect their smartphones with a password or PIN.
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I think there are all kinds of different hells. It’s not a place you go to after you die.
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I’m a perfectionist and if I start making changes, I’ll never stop.
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During Vietnam, I was in college, enjoying my student deferment. The government wisely felt that, in my case, military service was less important than completing my studies to prepare me for my chosen career: comedian.
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And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, ‘Teacher, sue him.’
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There’s no comparison between NPR and the propaganda that you hear from Rush or from Sean Hannity.
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Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of humor.
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I am a Minnesotan, and not just because I root for the Vikings and the Twins. I like the Minnesota-nice sensibility.
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The Founders who crafted our Constitution and Bill of Rights were careful to draft a Constitution of limited powers.
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