I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.
AL FRANKENBut God told me that He/She/It had actually chosen Al Gore by making sure that Gore won the popular vote and, God thought, the Electoral College. ‘That worked for everyone else,’ God said.
More Al Franken Quotes
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The government must give proper weight to both keeping America safe from terrorists and protecting Americans’ privacy.
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The Fourth Amendment doesn’t apply to corporations.
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Well, a lot of politics is communicating with people, and obviously comedy has something to do with that.
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There’s no comparison between NPR and the propaganda that you hear from Rush or from Sean Hannity.
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I’m crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.
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We lived in a two-bedroom, one-bath house in St. Louis Park, Minnesota. We weren’t rich – but we felt secure.
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Minnesota has a proud tradition of having two Senators on the Ag committee – a tradition I’d like very much to continue.
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It’s hard to have that debate around secret programs authorized by secret legal opinions issued by a secret court. Actually, it’s impossible to have that debate.
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Google’s screen for privacy settings does give you more options for what you share than Apple’s does. But it’s not a complete list, and people aren’t aware of whether or not that information will go to a third party.
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Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.
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My dad never graduated high school. He was a printing salesman.
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You know, Lincoln was funny. I don’t think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you’re funny.
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I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me.
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The Founders who crafted our Constitution and Bill of Rights were careful to draft a Constitution of limited powers.
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It was hard for him to project who he is, the person people know in private.
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