“Old man with an old phone. That’s never not funny.”

It so happens that America, according to all the polls that are out there, is pretty progressive. So you’re not going to see messages that support Ayn Randian individualism at the cost of the whole, because most people don’t agree with that.

Hollywood is for-profit, is what Hollywood is. All the studios are owned by big, megacorporations that are the furthest thing from liberal you can possibly imagine.

I’ve gotten like five laughs in movies, just off guy hugs.

It’s one thing to break stuff and damage people’s possessions, but when you start aiming at the ideology of America, that’s dangerous comedy.

Sometimes you’ll put something in and it will just die so hard that it’ll almost kill the movie.

It’s just funny that Americans have to contend with 2000 channels, and 60 different specific news sources, and the confusion that it creates, and the junk that we get to see is hilarious.

If all else fails, you can always be a pro.

The easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way, you can break the ice.

You have to be able to fail with the improv. You have to not care.

Blanket cynicism toward government has always existed.

Can anything good come of a backward way of thinking like judging someone based on skin color? No way.

If you make action movies, the critics will savage you, and then your movies are outdated the following week with the new wave of special effects.

Celebrities and ‘famous’ people are just regular folks. I know, it’s a shocking and potentially dangerous statement.

As far as how much you listen to the audience, you listen to them when they really hate something.

White-collar crime has been marketed – billions of dollars have been put in to have us be bored by it.

There’s nothing the people love more than a Federal Reserve joke.

Talent is never enough. With few exceptions the best players are the hardest workers.

I had learned one of the bitter lessons of life: never try to regain the past, the fire will have become ashes.

I owe a debt to America that I will never be able to repay.

The love that lasts longest is the love that is never returned.

If you’re never able to tolerate a little bit of pain and discomfort, you’ll never get better.

So, never be afraid. Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion, against injustice and lying and greed.

I never think that there’s something I can’t do, whether it’s beating my opponent one on one or practicing another hour because something about my game is just not right.

If you imagine the world listening, you’ll never write a line. That’s why privacy is so important. You should write first drafts as if they will never be shown to anyone.