“Old man with an old phone. That’s never not funny.”

I think that the job of art and culture is to jump on that time and realize that it’s there and to push it just a little bit faster.

This was the definition in Webster’s up until 1987 when a corporation bought Webster’s and changed it to exclude any mention of corporations.

Hardly socialism. In fact, it was a Republican plan to begin with.

We’re always looking for the backbone, the central idea, and once you have that you know everything can circle around it.

It so happens that America, according to all the polls that are out there, is pretty progressive. So you’re not going to see messages that support Ayn Randian individualism at the cost of the whole, because most people don’t agree with that.

Hollywood is for-profit, is what Hollywood is. All the studios are owned by big, megacorporations that are the furthest thing from liberal you can possibly imagine.

I’ve gotten like five laughs in movies, just off guy hugs.

It’s one thing to break stuff and damage people’s possessions, but when you start aiming at the ideology of America, that’s dangerous comedy.

Sometimes you’ll put something in and it will just die so hard that it’ll almost kill the movie.

It’s just funny that Americans have to contend with 2000 channels, and 60 different specific news sources, and the confusion that it creates, and the junk that we get to see is hilarious.

If all else fails, you can always be a pro.

The easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way, you can break the ice.

You have to be able to fail with the improv. You have to not care.

Blanket cynicism toward government has always existed.

Can anything good come of a backward way of thinking like judging someone based on skin color? No way.

If you make action movies, the critics will savage you, and then your movies are outdated the following week with the new wave of special effects.

Never forget that we were enslaved in this country longer than we have been free.

Never travel by sea when you can go by land.

Americans never quit.

Never forget this simple truism: Forecasting is marketing, plain and simple.

Oh, I never look under the hood.

I would have loved to had that break, but it never was offered to me, a job in that field, so naturally, I got lost on that other road.

Freedom and democracy are dreams you never give up.

To prevent verifying stereotypes, we pledge to never eat a slice a watermelon in front of white people.