I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
ADAM CAROLLAWelfare is monetary methadone.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’d never hurt another person.
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
ADAM CAROLLA