Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
ADAM CAROLLAI’d never hurt another person.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
ADAM CAROLLA






