I’d never hurt another person.
ADAM CAROLLAThere is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
ADAM CAROLLA






