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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.

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Boom Fast Next Podcast Radio Segment Thing Very

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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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Ashtray College High Junior School

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