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Getting chased home from the bus stop after school by English kids, boarding school, being targeted for praying to what they call Allah wallah ding dong.

Aasif Mandvi

Statistically there is enough voter fraud to sway zero elections.
AASIF MANDVI

Election Statistically Voter Voter Fraud Zero
In America, people think being South Asian is still kind of exotic. When you go outside New York and Chicago and L.A., there are people who have never tried Indian food… they’ve never even tasted it!
AASIF MANDVI

America Chicago Country Exotic New York Outside People Thinking
The idea that I had anything to do with speaking about Islam or about the Muslim world was just absurd to my family. … I hadn’t been to the mosque in like 10 years.
AASIF MANDVI

Country Family Idea Islam World Year
For anybody who’s ever been on the other end of, like, racial violence logic is not something that can be used.
AASIF MANDVI

End Like Logic Something Used Violence
Because to Americans, Chechnya might as well be a suburb of Narnia.
AASIF MANDVI

Chechnya Country might Narnia Suburb
Voter fraud does just barely exist, while racism, according to the Supreme Court, is a thing of the past.
AASIF MANDVI

Court Doe Fraud Past Racism Supreme Voter
It’s an organic thing that I try not to analyze too much, because I worry that it will go away.
AASIF MANDVI

Analyze Away Going Try Trying Worry
Samantha Bee said to me when I first started on the “Daily Show”, she was like no – there is no – the only way you’ll learn this job is by doing this job.
AASIF MANDVI

Daily First Job Learn No Samantha Bee She Show Started Way
I don’t want to tell people what they should think.
AASIF MANDVI

People Tell Thinking Want
Getting chased home from the bus stop after school by English kids, boarding school, being targeted for praying to what they call Allah wallah ding dong.
AASIF MANDVI

Bus Chased English Getting Home Kid Praying Stop
I think I discovered my first, you know, my first image of a naked woman was sort of sneaking a peek at one of those magazines that was in my dad’s store.
AASIF MANDVI

Dad Discover Image Naked Peek Sneaking Thinking Woman
You do find a lot of your time in the West kind of searching for your place in the world – your voice, your identity, like, who am I? Like, what is my reason for being here, you know? And in that same way who am I to be partnered with, you know?
AASIF MANDVI

Identity Lot Searching Time Voice World
If you choose to be a Muslim then you believe that it is on some level wrong to show the image of the Prophet Muhammad.
AASIF MANDVI

Believe Levels Prophet Muhammad
When I was 11 my friend’s mom made a peanut butter sandwich. I ate the sandwich and was like, ‘I’m never eating anything else again.’ And I still eat peanut butter every day. I would put peanut butter on a steak.
AASIF MANDVI

Ate Eating Friend Made Mom Peanut Butter Sandwich
Now the bigots have to get creative. Good luck coming up with slurs for Chechens. Go back where you came from, Ushanka head.
AASIF MANDVI

Bigot Chechen Committee Creative Good Luck
In America, you have this kind of individualism and in the West, essentially, you have this individualism – this idea of my own personal fulfillment.
AASIF MANDVI

America Essential Idea Ideas Individual Kind Own West

Getting chased home from the bus stop after school by English kids, boarding school, being targeted for praying to what they call Allah wallah ding dong.

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Getting chased home from the bus stop after school by English kids, boarding school, being targeted for praying to what they call Allah wallah ding dong.

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