“All war is a symptom of man’s failure as a thinking animal.”

There’s a responsibility in being a person. It’s more than just taking up space where air would be.

And finally, in our time a beard is the one thing that a woman cannot do better than a man, or if she can her success is assured only in a circus.

A sad soul can kill quicker than a germ.

American married life is the doormat to the whorehouse.

People like you to be something, preferably what they are.

If a story is not about the hearer, he will not listen. And here I make a rule—a great and interesting story is about everyone or it will not last.

No one wants advice – only corroboration.

You’re bound to get ideas if you go thinkin’ about stuff.

It’s almost impossible to read a fine thing without wanting to do a fine thing.

If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

If you want to destroy a nation, give it too much – make it greedy, miserable and sick.

I shall revenge myself in the cruelest way you can imagine. I shall forget it.

How can you frighten a man whose hunger is not only in his own cramped stomach but in the wretched bellies of his children? You can’t scare him–he has known a fear beyond every other.

With all our horrors and faults, somewhere in us there is a shining.

Socialism is just another form of religion, and thus delusional.

Write freely and as rapidly as possible and throw the whole thing on paper.

Pigs are filthy animals. I don’t eat filthy animals.

But it is the knowledge of necessary and eternal truths which distinguishes us from mere animals, and gives us reason and the sciences, raising us to knowledge of ourselves and God. It is this in us which we call the rational soul or mind.

Petting is the study of the anatomy in braille.

When it comes to pinning blame, pin the tail on the donkeys.

We all know the leopard can’t change his stripes.

Year by year, the monkey’s mask reveals the monkey.

Vegetables are organized bodies that grow on the dry areas of the globe and within its waters. Their function is to combine immediately the four elements and to serve as food for animals.

Natural bodies are divided into three kingdomes of nature: viz. the mineral, vegetable, and animal kingdoms. Minerals grow, Plants grow and live, Animals grow, live, and have feeling.