“I learned early to drink beer, wine and whiskey. And I think I was about 5 when I first chewed tobacco.”

Love the game of baseball and baseball will love you.

Wealth is always attracted, never pursued.

The only real game, I think, in the world is baseball.

Let me show you how it’s done, Loser!

If it wasn’t for baseball, I’d be in either the penitentiary or the cemetery.

You know this baseball game of ours comes up from the youth – that means the boys. And after you’ve been a boy, and grow up to know how to play ball, then you come to the boys you see representing themselves today in our national pastime.

Heroes get remembered, but legends never die.

If you want to hit home runs, you’ve go to swing a lot.

I swing big, with everything I’ve got. I hit big or I miss big. I like to live as big as I can.

A part of control is learning to correct your weaknesses.

They started something here, and the kids are keeping the ball rolling.

Gee, its lonesome in the outfield. It’s hard to keep awake with nothing to do.

What I am, what I have, what I am going to leave behind me – all this I owe to the game of baseball.

I’d play for half my salary if I could hit in this dump (Wrigley Field) all the time.

I didn’t mean to hit the umpire with the dirt, but I did mean to hit that bastard in the stands.

What do I think about when I strike out? I think about hitting home runs.

This is one night I wish I smoked and drank.

Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them.

[On alcohol:] Total abstinence is an impossibility and it will not do to insist on it as a general practice.

When men drink, then they are rich and successful and win lawsuits and are happy and help their friends. Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.

There’s nothing in the world like that first taste of beer.

When I sell liquor, it’s bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it’s hospitality.

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, “Dude, you have to wait”.

I never diet. I smoke. I drink now and then. I never work out.