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I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.

Joseph Heller

You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.
JOSEPH HELLER

Ashame Failure Trick
The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.
JOSEPH HELLER

Enemy Kill War
The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren’t paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
JOSEPH HELLER

Ignorance Law Mind Nature Paranoid Promote
The villains will come along. There were plenty in the Carter administration, and there will be plenty with Reagan.
JOSEPH HELLER

Villain
Well, he died. You don’t get any older than that.
JOSEPH HELLER

Broken Heart Die Old
Be glad you’re even alive. Be furious you’re going to die.
JOSEPH HELLER

Alive Death Die Furious Life
When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don’t see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy.
JOSEPH HELLER

Angel Decent Heaven Human Impulse Poeple Saint Tragedy
Every writer I know has trouble writing.
JOSEPH HELLER

Trouble Writer Writing
I’ve only had four ideas for a novel in my life, and I’ve written all of them.
JOSEPH HELLER

Ideas Life Novel Writing
The question is: what is a sane man to do in an insane society?
JOSEPH HELLER

Depression Insane Man Society
Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
JOSEPH HELLER

Bulling Difficult Drug Endurance Failure Meditation Success Suicide
Never quit a job as a matter of principle. You’ll always regret it.
JOSEPH HELLER

Job Principle Quit Regret
I don’t understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
JOSEPH HELLER

Imagination Mercy Process Understand
From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
JOSEPH HELLER

Goodness History Moral Teaching
You’re an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I’m an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I’m in an ideal position to appreciate it.
JOSEPH HELLER

Appreciation Character Courage Intelligence Moral
Where were you born?” “On a battlefield,” [Yossarian] answered. “No, no. In what state were you born?” “In a state of innocence.
JOSEPH HELLER

Born Innocence

I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.

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I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.

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