You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We’re the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
DICK GREGORYI used to get letters saying, ‘I didn’t know black children and white children were the same.’
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORY -
And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
DICK GREGORY -
When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
DICK GREGORY -
If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.
DICK GREGORY -
Home was a place to be only when all other places were closed.
DICK GREGORY -
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
DICK GREGORY -
My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that’s never been explained.
DICK GREGORY -
My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn’t a Christian, she would stomp you to death.
DICK GREGORY -
We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn’t it either. I’m going to be an American Citizen. First-class.
DICK GREGORY -
Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
DICK GREGORY -
I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn’t have what I wanted.
DICK GREGORY -
To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
DICK GREGORY -
Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
DICK GREGORY -
I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
DICK GREGORY -
Did you know that in New Orleans they still have brown bag parties? What’s that, you ask? You and I go to a party, and when we get to the door, there’s a brown bag hanging down from the ceiling, and if our skin is darker than the brown bag, we can’t go in.
DICK GREGORY