Be glad you’re even alive. Be furious you’re going to die.
JOSEPH HELLERSome men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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Never quit a job as a matter of principle. You’ll always regret it.
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Remember that everyone deserves some fun during working hours.
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Well, he died. You don’t get any older than that.
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Frankly, I’d like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
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Men went mad and were rewarded with medals.
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He was never without misery, and never without hope.
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I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.
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When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don’t see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy.
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I’ve only had four ideas for a novel in my life, and I’ve written all of them.
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She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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While none of the work we do is very important, it is important that we do a great deal of it.
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
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Anything worth dying for is certainly worth living for.
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What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
JOSEPH HELLER






