While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARXDie in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX