The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.
JOSEPH HELLERWhat do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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I wouldn’t want to live without strong misgivings.
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Never quit a job as a matter of principle. You’ll always regret it.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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Remember that everyone deserves some fun during working hours.
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He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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Where were you born?” “On a battlefield,” [Yossarian] answered. “No, no. In what state were you born?” “In a state of innocence.
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind.
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Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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He knew everything there was to know about literature, except how to enjoy it.
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Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren’t paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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He was never without misery, and never without hope.
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They agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
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I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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Let’s take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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Rise above principal and do what’s right.
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For war there is always enough. It’s peace that’s expensive.
JOSEPH HELLER