I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.
JOSEPH HELLERWhat do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
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She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.
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Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind.
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All of my books deal in a very rough, rude fashion with subjects about which there are great conflicts of opinion.
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Never quit a job as a matter of principle. You’ll always regret it.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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I wouldn’t want to live without strong misgivings.
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While none of the work we do is very important, it is important that we do a great deal of it.
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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I don’t understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
JOSEPH HELLER