So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLINIf your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
GEORGE CARLIN