The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
GEORGE CARLINNever underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
More George Carlin Quotes
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
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Always do whatever’s next.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN