Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
MARK TWAINSanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.
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There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
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I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.
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Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
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A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
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Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
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I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!
MARK TWAIN -
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
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Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
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Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
MARK TWAIN -
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
MARK TWAIN -
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
MARK TWAIN -
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.
MARK TWAIN -
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
MARK TWAIN -
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
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A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
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Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAIN -
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
MARK TWAIN