“I lay awake thinking about how none of it had to happen for me to get to this point; and how I’m glad I got there, anyway.”

Blue dreams in ocean wading devotion I miss the waves of our healthy obsession.

As I feel your heart shatter like sand through my helpless fingers I envision ripples through the tar of your blood.

Moments passing evenings warning waves receding to everlasting tides.

Hearts retch on homestretch where will we go?

Sometimes I can’t believe I decided to heal even when I didn’t deserve it. Even when I did.

It’s funny how things can be so temporarily permanent.

It’s just me and my mangled limbs your touch soothing but unconvincing singsong whispers of lives unlived.

Maybe we’ll meet on the beach sand in our shoes, waves in our guts flowers blooming by some miracle because you always had the talent to make those happen.

You can hit me and push me but you can’t quite beat me.

You left flowers on my bedside as if I were my tomb clumsy words that don’t begin to heal my wounds “I’m sorry” scrawled on a post-it.

You are what you want, Do you want who you are?

It turns out the monster in you overshadowed the ghost of kindness I so believed in.

Bound by rose thorns, pricked by love.

We burn incandescent memories lungs aching with washed-out oxygen as if we weren’t to meet again.

Down to the marrow in your bones, you will always be beautiful to me.

Everyone says the door is open with a smile until the door is not opened and the house collapses and they finally realize why they needed a door in the first place.