Always drink upstream from the herd.
WILL ROGERSNever miss a good chance to shut up.
More Will Rogers Quotes
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On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
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An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
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A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination.
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It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.
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It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.
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People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
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Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
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The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.
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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
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Work to make a living; serve to make a life.
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The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
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You can’t say civilization don’t advance, in every war they kill you in a new way.
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You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.
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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
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If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
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We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
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You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed.
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Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
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I never met a man I didn’t like.
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Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won’t work.
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The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
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Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.
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All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.
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If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
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There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
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