Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.
WILL ROGERSLive in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
More Will Rogers Quotes
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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
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There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.
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Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
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A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination.
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You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
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Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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No man is great if he thinks he is.
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There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
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Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
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If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.
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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
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The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
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Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won’t work.
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People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
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The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.
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On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
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Always drink upstream from the herd.
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There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
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If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.
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People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
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The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.
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Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.
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Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
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Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans.
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It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.
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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
WILL ROGERS