Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLINAlthough the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
More George Carlin Quotes
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN -
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
GEORGE CARLIN







