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It blows my mind that there are people out there who deny the holocaust. Why would you ever deny such a great achievement. It’s like denying the cure for polio or something.

Zach Braff

I donno, it’s not impressive. Once I put ear plugs in and put a blind fold on for like 14 minutes and I did just fine.
ZACH BRAFF

Blind Ear Plugs
You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.
ZACH BRAFF

Black Complaining People
My co-stars aren’t bad actors, but they’re no Zach Braff.
ZACH BRAFF

Actor Country People Star
If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn’t really that good of an actress. Especially when compared to me. Just watch the two of us, it’s light and dark. I am by far the better Jew.
ZACH BRAFF

Dark Garden Light
Sometimes Sarah [Chalke] starts to talk about Iraq or whatever and she gets all excited, like I actually give a crap what she’s saying. Come on, she’s a woman. But still, it’s very cute.
ZACH BRAFF

Country Cute Give People
It’s always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone’s looking to me for guidance.
ZACH BRAFF

Group Guidance White
I think sports are very beneficial in the fight against obesity. I remember playing little league – I was the best person on the pitch by a long shot. It was only last weekend actually, I think I have some photos of it if you’re interested.
ZACH BRAFF

Fighting Sport Thinking
A lot of people say colonialism was ‘evil’ or whatever, but what have they really done with Africa since we gave it back to them? I don’t think it should be considered ‘racist’ to admit maybe ending apartheid did more harm than good in South Africa.
ZACH BRAFF

Evil People Thinking
Of course I don’t use my A-material, it doesn’t matter if they think I’m funny or not because they won’t be thinking anything pretty soon anyways, if you caych my drift.
ZACH BRAFF

Matter Thinking Use
Sure, it was terrible and all, but you have to ask yourself: If the whole city was flooded, why couldn’t they just swim to safety?
ZACH BRAFF

City Safety Swim
If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn’t send me here just once.
ZACH BRAFF

Doe Exist God Reincarnation
I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
ZACH BRAFF

Baby Fighting Grieving
The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the same as hitting your employee or wife, and the issue become pretty clear when you think about it that way.
ZACH BRAFF

Issues Kid Thinking
I can’t watch the news anymore. They have their priorities all out of whack. All I see is Natalee Holloway and Britney Spears and the war in Iraq. Where’s the substantive news? Where’s the Zach Braff coverage?
ZACH BRAFF

Country People Priority War
If I had a billion dollars I would…oh wait…already do.
ZACH BRAFF

Billion Dollar Waiting
Sometimes you just gotta use what God gave you to the best of your abilities.
ZACH BRAFF

Ability Sometimes Use

It blows my mind that there are people out there who deny the holocaust. Why would you ever deny such a great achievement. It’s like denying the cure for polio or something.

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It blows my mind that there are people out there who deny the holocaust. Why would you ever deny such a great achievement. It’s like denying the cure for polio or something.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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