The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I’ll tell you that much.
ZACH BRAFFI figure it this way – if a woman claims she didn’t want me to fudge her, then you already know she’s a liar. So what the hell’s the point of a trial, y’know?
More Zach Braff Quotes
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Best movie ever?! Come on, my appearance on Arrested Development had more dynamics, realism and feel to it than the whole trilogy combined.
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My co-stars aren’t bad actors, but they’re no Zach Braff.
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If I had a billion dollars I would…oh wait…already do.
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People ask me, ‘Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?’ I always tell them that there’s nothing on earth better than being famous.
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Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it’s in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.
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I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.
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Well I can understand why men want it to be legal. Obviously they’re all hoping they might get to marry me someday. I hate to burst their bubble, but they should just give it up now. Zach Braff doesn’t sway that way, you know?
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The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the same as hitting your employee or wife, and the issue become pretty clear when you think about it that way.
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When I first moved to L.A., I thought about turning gay. Then I realized none of the guys I was interested in was good enough for me.
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Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They’re probably still hanging there.
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You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.
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Women are like parking spots, the best ones are handicapped.
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Now, I’m not going to be misquoted on this like I have numerous times before, so I’ll be quite clear. I’ve never said hitler was my hero, just that if he had focused on more than one race he would have had the right idea. Try to turn that one against me.
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I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.
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I’m a busy guy; I just get a lot of people that sound like me to go out and visit them. They don’t know the difference and, let’s face it, they aren’t going to be paying to see my movies anytime soon.
ZACH BRAFF