It’s… it’s such a weird thing. After Garden State, so many companies wanted to make my movies, and after The Last Kiss, I realized people would make anything I was in. As long as I keep this up I’ll be swimming in chubby indie girl pussy.
ZACH BRAFFI donno, it’s not impressive. Once I put ear plugs in and put a blind fold on for like 14 minutes and I did just fine.
More Zach Braff Quotes
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Well I can understand why men want it to be legal. Obviously they’re all hoping they might get to marry me someday. I hate to burst their bubble, but they should just give it up now. Zach Braff doesn’t sway that way, you know?
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Sometimes Sarah [Chalke] starts to talk about Iraq or whatever and she gets all excited, like I actually give a crap what she’s saying. Come on, she’s a woman. But still, it’s very cute.
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Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They’re probably still hanging there.
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I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.
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I can’t watch the news anymore. They have their priorities all out of whack. All I see is Natalee Holloway and Britney Spears and the war in Iraq. Where’s the substantive news? Where’s the Zach Braff coverage?
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Of course I don’t use my A-material, it doesn’t matter if they think I’m funny or not because they won’t be thinking anything pretty soon anyways, if you caych my drift.
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I really don’t give a care, I’m going to live for ever
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My job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.
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Sure the jews killed jesus, but the guy was an awful carpenter
ZACH BRAFF -
Now, I’m not going to be misquoted on this like I have numerous times before, so I’ll be quite clear. I’ve never said hitler was my hero, just that if he had focused on more than one race he would have had the right idea. Try to turn that one against me.
ZACH BRAFF -
Compared to my talents, Whoopi Goldberg is like one of those fake plastic Buddhas you get at dollar stores. I mean really, I fail to see the humor in an overweight negro woman with dreadlocks, no eyebrows, and is named after a childish term for flatulence.
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I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.
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It blows my mind that there are people out there who deny the holocaust. Why would you ever deny such a great achievement. It’s like denying the cure for polio or something.
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Don’t get me started on cold toilet seats.
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I once looked in the mirror at myself and noticed that, without a doubt, I am a sexy man. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever get married…it just wouldn’t be fair for my spouse to catch me enjoying a look in the mirror more than having sex with her.
ZACH BRAFF