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I have a great relationship with my parents. I have not been on lithium.

Zach Braff

I don’t think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.
ZACH BRAFF

Minorities People Thinking
Sure the jews killed jesus, but the guy was an awful carpenter
ZACH BRAFF

Awful Guy Jesus
My co-stars aren’t bad actors, but they’re no Zach Braff.
ZACH BRAFF

Actor Country People Star
People ask me, ‘Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?’ I always tell them that there’s nothing on earth better than being famous.
ZACH BRAFF

Earth People Wish
It’s… it’s such a weird thing. After Garden State, so many companies wanted to make my movies, and after The Last Kiss, I realized people would make anything I was in. As long as I keep this up I’ll be swimming in chubby indie girl pussy.
ZACH BRAFF

Girl Kissing Swimming
My job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.
ZACH BRAFF

Children Job School
A lot of people say colonialism was ‘evil’ or whatever, but what have they really done with Africa since we gave it back to them? I don’t think it should be considered ‘racist’ to admit maybe ending apartheid did more harm than good in South Africa.
ZACH BRAFF

Evil People Thinking
Sometimes you just gotta use what God gave you to the best of your abilities.
ZACH BRAFF

Ability Sometimes Use
Yea, he’s alright…but he’s no Zach Braff.
ZACH BRAFF

Alright Exactly Fine Happy
The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I’ll tell you that much.
ZACH BRAFF

Cry Differences Real
If I had a billion dollars I would…oh wait…already do.
ZACH BRAFF

Billion Dollar Waiting
Don’t get me started on cold toilet seats.
ZACH BRAFF

Cold Comfort Seat Toilet
The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the same as hitting your employee or wife, and the issue become pretty clear when you think about it that way.
ZACH BRAFF

Issues Kid Thinking
I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.
ZACH BRAFF

Anything Distracted Procrastinating
It’s always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone’s looking to me for guidance.
ZACH BRAFF

Group Guidance White
Whenever I’m feeling a bit down, I always visit the local children’s hospital. Knowing that those cancer-kids wont be able to live long enough to surpass me in fame just warms my heart, you know?
ZACH BRAFF

Cancer Children Heart

I have a great relationship with my parents. I have not been on lithium.

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I have a great relationship with my parents. I have not been on lithium.

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