black
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It’s always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone’s looking to me for guidance.

Zach Braff

I donno, it’s not impressive. Once I put ear plugs in and put a blind fold on for like 14 minutes and I did just fine.
ZACH BRAFF

Blind Ear Plugs
Sometimes you just gotta use what God gave you to the best of your abilities.
ZACH BRAFF

Ability Sometimes Use
Don’t get me started on cold toilet seats.
ZACH BRAFF

Cold Comfort Seat Toilet
The problem with doing commercials is that the only thing good enough for me to sell is myself, and I stopped doing that once I kicked my coke habit.
ZACH BRAFF

Coke Enough Good Problem
It’s… it’s such a weird thing. After Garden State, so many companies wanted to make my movies, and after The Last Kiss, I realized people would make anything I was in. As long as I keep this up I’ll be swimming in chubby indie girl pussy.
ZACH BRAFF

Girl Kissing Swimming
When you’re the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there’s no one to call you on it. On Garden State I did different lines on every take, just making crap up. And it was great each time.
ZACH BRAFF

Directors Garden Line
You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.
ZACH BRAFF

Black Complaining People
If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn’t send me here just once.
ZACH BRAFF

Doe Exist God Reincarnation
People keep asking me whether I’m going to vote for Obama or McCain in the election. But I’m like, why bother? There will never be another leader as good as he was.
ZACH BRAFF

Asking Leaders People
When I first moved to L.A., I thought about turning gay. Then I realized none of the guys I was interested in was good enough for me.
ZACH BRAFF

First Gay Guy Interest Realize Turn
I really don’t give a care, I’m going to live for ever
ZACH BRAFF

Care Giving Really
If I had a billion dollars I would…oh wait…already do.
ZACH BRAFF

Billion Dollar Waiting
My co-stars aren’t bad actors, but they’re no Zach Braff.
ZACH BRAFF

Actor Country People Star
Well I can understand why men want it to be legal. Obviously they’re all hoping they might get to marry me someday. I hate to burst their bubble, but they should just give it up now. Zach Braff doesn’t sway that way, you know?
ZACH BRAFF

Giving Hate Men Someday
Now, I’m not going to be misquoted on this like I have numerous times before, so I’ll be quite clear. I’ve never said hitler was my hero, just that if he had focused on more than one race he would have had the right idea. Try to turn that one against me.
ZACH BRAFF

Hero Idea Race
Whenever I’m feeling a bit down, I always visit the local children’s hospital. Knowing that those cancer-kids wont be able to live long enough to surpass me in fame just warms my heart, you know?
ZACH BRAFF

Cancer Children Heart

It’s always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone’s looking to me for guidance.

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It’s always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone’s looking to me for guidance.

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Popular Authors

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