I once looked in the mirror at myself and noticed that, without a doubt, I am a sexy man. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever get married…it just wouldn’t be fair for my spouse to catch me enjoying a look in the mirror more than having sex with her.
ZACH BRAFFThe thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the same as hitting your employee or wife, and the issue become pretty clear when you think about it that way.
More Zach Braff Quotes
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People keep asking me whether I’m going to vote for Obama or McCain in the election. But I’m like, why bother? There will never be another leader as good as he was.
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If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn’t really that good of an actress. Especially when compared to me. Just watch the two of us, it’s light and dark. I am by far the better Jew.
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The success of ‘Scrubs’ allowed me to pursue anything I felt passionately about without having to worry about money. It allowed me to spend my summer work shopping my show at a nonprofit theater.
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Women are like parking spots, the best ones are handicapped.
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I don’t think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.
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Whenever I’m feeling a bit down, I always visit the local children’s hospital. Knowing that those cancer-kids wont be able to live long enough to surpass me in fame just warms my heart, you know?
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It’s always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone’s looking to me for guidance.
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I think sports are very beneficial in the fight against obesity. I remember playing little league – I was the best person on the pitch by a long shot. It was only last weekend actually, I think I have some photos of it if you’re interested.
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Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They’re probably still hanging there.
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I can’t watch the news anymore. They have their priorities all out of whack. All I see is Natalee Holloway and Britney Spears and the war in Iraq. Where’s the substantive news? Where’s the Zach Braff coverage?
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When I first moved to L.A., I thought about turning gay. Then I realized none of the guys I was interested in was good enough for me.
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I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.
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I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.
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I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
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If I had a billion dollars I would…oh wait…already do.
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