Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
BOB HOPEIf you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
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I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
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The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
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When you get over 95, every day is your day.
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Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
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I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
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Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
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Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
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Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
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One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
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We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
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Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
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It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
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Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status.
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It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
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I can’t give up Golf, I’ve got too many sweaters.
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It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
BOB HOPE