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It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.

Bob Hope

It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
BOB HOPE

May Watches World
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty
I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Love People Witty
Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
BOB HOPE

Country Littles People Promise Way
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
BOB HOPE

One Should Taxes Travel Years
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPE

Alligators Bags Golf
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Kissing Tea
The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
BOB HOPE

Before Draw Engage Money Only Trouble
Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other.
BOB HOPE

Doing Nothing Kissing Light
I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
BOB HOPE

Anymore Country Funny Soon Space
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE

Aspirin Firm Print Times
I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
BOB HOPE

Bars Golf Hotter Play
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Nation Slice Worry
US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
BOB HOPE

Ford Gerald Golf President
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE

Carter Done Nothing People

It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.

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It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.

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Popular Authors

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