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Relying on another is an expression of attachment, not love, a manifestation of insecurity and suffering, not understanding the true nature of our lives.

Brenda Shoshanna

We calculate their value to us. When we approach relationships in this manner, we are coming as beggars, seeing the other as a source of supply.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Beggar Coming Relationship Source Supply
From the Zen view all beings are in the grip of the three poisons, greed, anger and delusion (ignorance).
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Anger Ignorance Views
This is how we know we are in a loving relationship. We are blooming, and the one we love is blooming as well.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Blooming Love Loving Relationship
The more we give attention to that which is upsetting, the more strength it has to rule our lives.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Lived More Rule Strength
If one’s sense of self is obtained through the eyes of another it is always subject to being lost.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Eye Lost Self Sense
Don’t become bitter and spend all your time focusing on that which the person is not able to provide.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Focusing Person Provide Time
Do not make this practice a source of pressure, compulsion, anxiety or pride. It is none of these. Zazen is simply a way to find your true home.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Home Practice Pride
our joy and satisfaction comes from doing each action with a whole heart and mind. Results and consequences then take care of themselves. When you are not absorbed by concern for outcomes, how much anxiety can you ever have?
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Absorb Attention Result Themselves
Fear of the future and longing for the past are major factors which impede appropriate action.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Action Future Past
A time of uncertainty, of not knowing exactly where we’re headed, or what kind of choice to make is a Zen moment.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Choices Knowing Time
When we are in a truly loving relationship, we receive the gift of being known and accepted. We become more, not less, of who we are.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Love Relationship Space
It is a mistake to expect all of our needs to be met by one person or in one relationship. Honor and be grateful for that which you receive.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Mistake Relationship Time
Be honest and simple. As you keep track all week long, you’ll be amazed at what claims your attention, what you give your precious life force to.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Amazed Honest Precious Simple
Zen practice asks you not to worry about who you ‘should’ become. Find out who you are right now.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Practice Should Worry
When we sit, we open our own treasure house. Rather than do this, however, most of us first seek to find the treasures another person can provide.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

House Relationship Treasure
In a relationship if you are giving and getting nothing back in return, stop giving so much, and spend time being. Give to yourself, be who you are.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Giving Relationship Time

Relying on another is an expression of attachment, not love, a manifestation of insecurity and suffering, not understanding the true nature of our lives.

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Relying on another is an expression of attachment, not love, a manifestation of insecurity and suffering, not understanding the true nature of our lives.

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