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The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.

Ellen DeGeneres

I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Men School Texas
I know that experts say you’re more likely to get hurt crossing the street than you are flying, but that doesn’t make me any less frightened of flying. If anything, it makes me more afraid of crossing the street.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Experts Flying Frightened Hurt Less
I have an amazing team, I have amazing producers, I have amazing writers, but at the end of it, it’s me making the decisions on the writing, the tone, the editing.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Decision Editing Team Writing
The world is filled with negativity. I want people to watch me and think, “I feel good, and I’m going to make somebody else feel good today.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feel Good People Thinking
I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don’t harbour resentment.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Animal Home Pet Resentment
Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Life Procrastination
I had everything I’d hoped for, but I wasn’t being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn’t like me for being… me.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Everything Funny People Strange
I love furniture. And I thought, why are we not seeing who’s making the cool new coffee table and these new designs that come out?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Coffee Design Tables
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I’ve been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I’m happy I could give him work.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Giving Humor
What goes up must come down, which is why I don’t wear tube tops.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Come Down Tops Tubes
I would love for the world to be happier.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Happier Love World
You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, ‘Would you please stop that! That breathing in and out, it’s so repetitious.’
ELLEN DEGENERES

Breathing Funny Relationship Nerves
I learned compassion from being discriminated against. Everything bad that’s ever happened to me has taught me compassion.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Compassion Inspiring Strong Women
So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn’t with all the layers… I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says ‘open here.’ Is that sarcasm?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Government Mean Sarcasm
I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. I’ve started a record label, so I get to nurture new talent and talk about music, which is a passion of mine. I’ve written another book. And I get to come to work and do the TV show, which is always really fun.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Book Fun Passion Talk
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you’re kidding?… Noooo… as funny as that is, I’m not
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dog Funny Humor

The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.

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The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.

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