“If you’re not doing it for Allah, then don’t expect any help from Allah.”

Never forget the favors done for you. Always forget the favors you’ve done for others.

Kind words cost you nothing but are sometimes worth more than a million dollars.

Being unashamedly Muslim while excelling in whatever you do is of the greatest forms of Dawah.

Wake up knowing that Allah is greater than any obstacle you may face today.

Instead, understand that this world is just the play of the senses. It’s the five khandhas doing their thing; it has nothing to do with you.

So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.

We [women] are the majority of the population, majority of the electorate, majority of the workforce… and yet we’re still doing majority of family unpaid or low paid labor.

When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.

Fame, money and the size of the market are not very important to me. What is, is writing a book that is worth doing and then publishing it.

I have been in control of what Ive been doing, of the career Ive put together.

I admire the ones who keep coming back and doing it, time after time.

Don’t do stuff that freaks him out, like what you’re doing now. Do something that makes him happy.