I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
BILLY CONNOLLYA mate of mine has just told me he’s shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said “her brothers got a moustache!”
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.
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Sometimes there’s a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I’ve ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
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Well, the film’s not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it’s pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies.
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Wisdom isn’t an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn’t an answer. It’s a question.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
didn’t even know there were specialist zombie magazines and clubs. I heard the other day that a radio station had asked people if they`d made preparations for an attack by zombies, and a staggering number of people replied yes!
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I used to have Mad Cow’s disease, but I’m alright Nooooooooow.
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I don’t aim to offend.
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If you give people a chance, they shine.
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Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
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I don’t have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I’ve done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that’s mostly what I’m offered.
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If I had a hammer, there’d be no more folksingers.
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People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
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As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
BILLY CONNOLLY