“My dad’s like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?”

Every effort to make society sensitive to the importance of the family, is a great service to humanity.

Storms draw something out of us that calm seas don’t.

Christ assigns as a duty to every man the dignity of every woman: and simultaneously… He also assigns to every woman the dignity of every man.

I think there ought to be a club in which preachers and journalists could come together and have the sentimentalism of the one matched with the cynicism of the other. That ought to bring them pretty close to the truth.

Humanity, its dignity and its balance, will depend at every moment and on every place on the globe,on who man is for woman and who woman is for man.

Faith leads us beyond ourselves. It leads us directly to God.

Do what’s good for you Or you’re not good for anybody

If you need food stamps, you should meet the criteria.

I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.

I sense that the moment has come to commit all of the Church’s energies to a new evangelization… No believer in Christ, no institution of the Church can avoid this supreme duty: to proclaim Christ to all peoples.

Not all librarians are evil cultists. Some librarians are instead vengeful undead who want to suck your soul.

The Rosary is a prayer both so humble and simple and a theologically rich in Biblical content. I beg you to pray it.

Each man, in his suffering, can also become a sharer in the redemptive suffering of Christ.

A brain hemorrhage puts it all in a deeper perspective. I’m one of those guys hit by lightning. I see the big picture. Everything is in perspective now. Let’s just say I’m the kind of guy who knows how to enjoy the moment.

I have to be motivated, and I’m sure time will avail itself.

You know, you try to be diverse, and try to have fun and round things out.

Look, my dad has a saying – we’ll burn that bridge when get to it. OK? You get it? Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

God brought me to Himself at about the age of 4. My parents were devout believers and my Dad was in Bible College at the time.

My dad got me a chemistry book one Christmas and I burnt the garden shed down. I remember there was the most beautiful smell forever after in the remains.

My dad liked to boil a squirrel head and suck the brains out the nose. Smaller than a chicken, bigger than a rat.

The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering.

I always thought that dads in the old days where rather macho types who wouldn’t get close to a baby, let alone change nappies.

When I seemed to be irritable or sad, my father would quote the learned Dr. Knight, and then say, ‘Just go to sleep.’ Like all smart aleck kids, I thought the advice was silly. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized just how smart Knight was.

The best revenge is living well, my dad told me once.