Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don’t start writing no letters. I’m just kidding. But am I lying?
BERNIE MACMy girlfriend Rhonda, who’s now my wife, I graduated from high school, she got pregnant. My grandfather said, ‘You’ve got to do the right thing.’
More Bernie Mac Quotes
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My grandmother always told me how you start is how you finish.
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America…Do not touch my TV, my DVD, my stereo, my dual-deck VCR. Do not touch my old school, my new school, my slow jams, my party jams, my happy rap, and you better not touch…My James Brown.
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I had to do clubs where street gangs were, had to do motorcycle gangs, gay balls and things of that nature.
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Bernie Mac don’t sugarcoat.
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I love my daughter, but there’s a certain feeling, a certain emotion when you got a granddaughter, you know?
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I want to play a villain – I can’t wait to play a villain.
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I have so much respect for what’s funny.
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My comedy comes from pain. I can’t stand to see someone hurting.
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My family are police officers, detectives. My brother Mitch is FBI. Mitch is like that – a stern enforcer.
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You don’t see me in Los Angeles a lot. I go back home. Because I can’t play the game. I can’t – my tolerance – I know I’m getting old; I’ll be 50 this year. And you know how I know I’m getting old? ‘Cause my tolerance level is low.
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I want to speak directly to the audience, to say, ‘I’m like you – I’m frustrated, I’m not an expert, I don’t have a manual on parenting, I make mistakes, I’m selfish too.’
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When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take ’em.
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When I go onstage, I want to relieve your mind, your pressures.
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I’ve introduced myself with comedy, and once you’ve introduced yourself as something, that’s where people keep you. That’s where people like to hold you.
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I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.
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I know doing movies is where I need to be. That’s where my audience wants to see me.
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If you mess something up, remember who got you there. Don’t be pointing fingers, even if finger-pointing is called for. Only one you got to blame is your own self.
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When you’re offstage, that’s the footprint. That’s the man God’s gonna judge.
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Why do people love Richard Pryor so much? ‘Cause he had problems.
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The one thing about comedy, making it become a part of you, the audience loves it, because you become part of them.
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It took me a long time to get to where I’m at, in my career and as a man. I was going through my trials and tribulations in life, and it gave me the strength to tackle things that have come my way.
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Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.
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As I got older, I got into all kinds of things in the streets – but for some reason, I never got caught up with the gangs growing up. Everybody dug me, man. I never had problems.
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I ain’t running for office. I ain’t running for nothing.
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I’ve been in training for stardom.
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I have Glocks, .45s, Berettas, Remingtons. I like the marksmanship and the discipline that it takes to be a gun owner. I like the machinery. Being able to take it out and clean it is even more fascinating than having the gun.
BERNIE MAC