The average person has one Fallopian tube.
BO BURNHAMLove is all about… whistles.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
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I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
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The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
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I know it’s the comedian’s instinct to say, “Do it, man, nothing’s off-limits! It’s cool, bro!” I don’t know if that’s the answer for me.
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Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
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Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it.
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Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.
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Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
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Where are all the sour patch parents?
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.
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They must have some special kind of cereal!’ My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
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Then the challenge is, once you left brain it and build it, then when you’re on stage you have to know it so well that you can get lost in it. I don’t want to be onstage looking like a robot,
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I don’t want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I’m just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.
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Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
BO BURNHAM