“I once got sacked for laughing … mind you, I was driving a hearse at the time.”

I’m glad I’m not bisexual. I couldn’t stand being rejected by men as well as women.

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

If you want to drink, have a drink… if you want to drive, then drive… there’s nothing worse than having a smash sober.

I’m not saying my mother-in-law is fat – because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image.

I’ve got cheekier with age. You can get away with murder when you’re 71 years old. People just think I’m a silly old fool.

You are what you eat…..I’ve eaten so many fat cunts you wouldn’t believe

I listen to Neil Young and jazz and classical stations and, if my girlfriend’s driving, it tends to be Hall & Oates.

All the stories have to do with emotion. Emotion is driving everything.

You think you’re going to Toledo but you’re actually going to Miami and you might not have enough gas so you might need to buy gas from someone who might take you out if you aren’t driving well

Composing is like driving down a foggy road.

People have always been telling me what I can’t do. I guess I have wanted to show them. That’s been one of my driving forces all my life.

If you’re driving down the street, you keep the neck forward. So that way you can clear out the lanes.

Honk if you love Jesus, text while driving if you want to meet up.

When you get out of the driver’s seat, you find that life can drive itself, that actually life has always been driving itself. When you get out of the driver’s seat, it can drive itself so much easier-it can flow in ways you never imagined.