I’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.
BILLY CRYSTALI’d like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.
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It is better to look good than to feel good.
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I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
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At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
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Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.
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I think when I feel I’m at my best is when I’m on stage, and it’s my version of jazz because it’s just riffing or something.
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When comedy is good, it’s jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection, the high notes of a joke. It’s all melody to me.
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Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
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Dad had a music store, and he’d often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
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I don’t like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.
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I’m comfortable being old… being black… being Jewish.
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I had really good hearing and when you’re scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.
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There’s only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.
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I never stopped believing in us and I never felt like I was wanting for anything, except for my father, and that was not going to be. I describe in the book [that] I don’t think I ever felt young again in that way.
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Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don’t think you can make your kids’ dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.
BILLY CRYSTAL







