When you involved in an accident and someone asks “are you alright?” Yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off.
BILLY CONNOLLYOh aye…my Father would thrash me every now and then. He’d talk while he did it too! He’d hit me and shout, ‘Have ye had enough?’ Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? ‘Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???’
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I don’t understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I’m amazed what people come up with when they look at them.
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I’m a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world’s a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they’re delightful. They all want so little.
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I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.
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I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
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I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
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Well, the film’s not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it’s pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies.
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I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
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I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it’s not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days.
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I don’t aim to offend.
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I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
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A fart is just your arse applauding.
BILLY CONNOLLY