“You know…they say an elephant never forgets. What they don’t tell you is, you never forget an elephant.”

If Google doesn’t know the answer, then it’s not a question

Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can’t buy backbone. Don’t let them forget it. Thank you.

I mean, everybody would love to have their clothes torn off by a mob of girls, but being screamed at is different.

One of the things I like about acting is that, in a funny way, I come back to myself.

They are getting so much smoke blown, and their whole world gets so turned upside down, their responses become distorted. I give everybody a year or two to pull it together because, when it first happens, I know how it is.

We’re Americans! Do you know what that means? It means our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world.

Those are my people, you know? The ones who are going to crash and burn.

Here’s the thing, you just have to drive a lot faster, and if you don’t get there, we’re both fired.

People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.

I’m just a potato that won’t quit. I’m a potato with some legs. Some have eyes, I’ve got legs.

The only good thing about fame that I’ve gotten is I’ve gotten out of a couple of speeding tickets. I’ve gotten into a restaurant when I didn’t have a suit and tie on. That’s really about it.

If you have a good script, that’s what gets you involved. It’s harder to write a good screenplay than to find something.

Different vodkas have different effects. Some make you feel a little… poly-lingual. Some make you feel like you want to talk back to someone who’s giving you a hard time. Some make you feel like lifting kettle bells.

The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.

Religion is the worst enemy of mankind. No single war in the history of humanity has killed as many people as religion has.

When everything goes well. When sails rip, engines freeze up and you find there are organisms growing inside the diesel, it’s terrible and amazing stuff.

Absolute brain size does not tell you everything or possibly sometimes even much. Elephants and whales both have brains larger than ours, but you wouldn’t have much trouble outwitting them in contract negotiations.

You know, that stuff about pink elephants, that’s the bunk. It’s little animals. Little tiny turkeys in straw hats. Midget monkeys coming through the keyholes.

Les vrais philosophes sont comme les e le phants, qui en marchant ne posent jamais le second pied a’ terre que le premier ne soit bien affermi. True philosophers are like elephants, who when walking never placetheir second footontheground untilthefirst is steady.

A true philosopher is like an elephant; he never puts the second foot down until the first one is solidly in place.

The world is not a burden; we make it a burden by our desires. When the desires are removed, the world is as light as a feather on an elephant’s back.

I couldn’t hit an elephant’s ass with a bull fiddle.