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1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

If there’s anything I hate more than not being taken seriously, it’s being taken too seriously.

Billy Wilder

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  I have never met anyone as utterly mean as Marilyn Monroe. Nor as utterly fabulous on the screen, and that includes Garbo.

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  I had one life. And what did I do? Wasted it in some palooka preliminaries in Spain, just before Hitler and Chamberlain warm up for the main event.

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  The best director is the one you don’t see.

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  After so many drive-in waitresses becoming movie stars, there has been this real drought, when along come class; somebody who actually went to school, can spell, maybe even plays the piano.

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  Film’s thought of as a director’s medium because the director creates the end product that appears on the screen. It’s that stupid auteur theory again, that the director is the author of the film. But what does the director shoot-the telephone book?

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  Money makes even bastards legitimate.

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  I am appalled by this Marilyn Monroe cult. Perhaps it’s getting to be an act of courage to say the truth about her. Well, let me be courageous.

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  Writers became much more important when sound came in, but they’ve had to put up a valiant fight to get the credit they deserve.

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  A bad play folds and is forgotten, but in pictures we don’t bury our dead. When you think it’s out of your system, your daughter sees it on television and says, My father is an idiot.

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  If you have a problem with the third act, the real problem is in the first act.

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  [on pop idol Donny Osmond] He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.

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  One’s too many and a hundred’s not enough.

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