Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
BILL BAILEYNot to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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Contentment is knowing you’re right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think ‘Oh my God, I’m James Blunt, what have I done?’
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time.
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There’s more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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Contentment is knowing you’re right
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It’s not a beard, it’s an animal I’ve trained to sit very still.
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you’ve got to admire the workmanship.
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Relaxed Empiricism — I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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Live comedy’s a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You’re only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
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