“Speaking of human computers, there is a guy named Art Benjamin, he’s a human calculator. He says it’s a skill he learned as a kid. Now he’s a math professor at Harvey Mudd. He can find the square root of a six digit number in a few seconds. Practice.”

Our goal in science is to discover universal laws of nature. If one’s faith requires one to abandon or ignore natural laws, well, that person is going to have trouble reconciling religion and science. Otherwise, there is no any conflict.

Science is the best thing humans beings have ever come up with. And if it isn’t, science will fix it.

Humor is everywhere in that there’s irony in just about anything a human does.

But as the cerebellum degrades with age, so does the quality of memories. The memories are there, but they’re not as good.

The world’s going to change climatically. We just want to control the change. We want to have a high quality of life for billions of people as we pass through this era.

The US Navy has several people on every ship that can navigate by the stars. They don’t fool with that.

I stand by my assertions that although you can know what happens to any individual species that you modify, you cannot be certain what will happen to the ecosystem.

NASA is an engine of innovation and inspiration as well as the world’s premier space exploration agency, and we are well served by politicians working to keep it that way, instead of turning it into a mere jobs program, or worse, cutting its budget.

Without an end to the burning of fossil fuels, coal especially, most of us will live shorter lives. I’m hopeful, but very, very concerned.

Tax dollars intended for science education must not be used to teach creationism as any sort of real explanation of nature, because any observation or process of inference about our origin and the nature of the universe disproves creationism in every respect.

My father was a very good Boy Scout. He was very skilled with knots, and he showed me how to tie a bow tie.

If you just take a single human and put him or her in the forest he or she might not do very well without some sort of education which he got or she got from some tribe.

When we see the shadow on our images, are we seeing the time 11 minutes ago on Mars? Or are we seeing the time on Mars as observed from Earth now? It’s like time travel problems in science fiction. When is now; when was then?

Winter lingered so long in the lap of Spring that it occasioned a great deal of talk.

Our goal in science is to discover universal laws of nature. That pursuit fills me with wonder.

The strange thing about grinding that might surprise many people is that you can grind things and shape them using materials that are generally somewhat softer than the thing you’re grinding and shaping.

It’s been very humbling and very cool to see [that at] each show I tend to see more and more kids lock onto the new lyrics and every night they start to sing louder and louder and it’s just been very exciting.

It seems like people my age are over-protected today, even to the point where a lot of parents refuse to put their kids in the position to make important decisions, to aspire to great things, because they don’t want to put them in a position to fail.

The great joy of doing ‘The Daily Show’ for me is that I get to sit on the fence between cultures. I am commenting on the absurdity of both sides as an outsider and insider. Sometimes I’m playing the brown guy, and sometimes I’m not, but the best stuff I do always goes back to being a brown kid in a white world.

As a kid, I always wanted to obviously win a Super Bowl. Now that I’ve got one, it’s like, ‘Now what?’ Let’s go get another one!

Kids are dying from causes of sexual activity. You’re not going to find a tombstone stating that Frankie died because he was a virgin.

I thank heaven we have had baseball in this world,the kids, our national pastime.

One of the things I’ve always said is that if you’re given the ability to coach kids, then you’re really given the ability to be a father or parent of some sort.

I was a bit of a handful when I was a kid because I was quite hyperactive. Even in the house my mum used to put me in my pram because I was so full-on.