“Unsolicited advice is the junk mail of life.”

Sooner or later we all quote our mothers.

Books had instant replay long before televised sports.

People who say, ‘Let the chips fall where they may,’ usually figure they will not be hit by a chip.

Ideas are like wandering sons. They show up when you least expect them.

Life is supposed to be a series of peaks and valleys. The secret is to keep the valleys from becoming Grand Canyons.

An extravagance is something that your spirit thinks is a necessity.

You are mature when you know what is foolhardy and what is courage.

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.

What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor.

September tries its best to have us forget summer.

Few things are as democratic as a snowstorm.

Few things move as quietly as the future.

We must escape our illusions of correctness to understand the actions and beliefs of others.

The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day he created Spring.

We may pass violets looking for roses. We may pass contentment looking for victory.

If we try and fail, we have temporary disappointments. But if we do not try at all, we have permanent regrets.

You find diners and Laundromats. You find beaches. You find a junk car and drive it for a month, then lave it beside the road. You find someone to fall in love with you. You make it all up as you go. Or, you know, maybe it makes you up.

Most people are satisfied with the junk food being sold as music.

Eminem. My son was listening to that and I was like, “What is that junk?” Then I started listening and I thought, You know, that kid is pretty good. It’s the storytelling.

Buy, buy, says the sign in the shop window; Why, why, says the junk in the yard.

I don’t use a crap camera, I don’t eat junk, and I’m not going to a dance where the boys are bores.

If you live for this world, you are in the junk business. It’s all just premature junk.

It’s just funny that Americans have to contend with 2000 channels, and 60 different specific news sources, and the confusion that it creates, and the junk that we get to see is hilarious.

It’s all about attitude and feeling good about yourself and not looking like everybody on TV. You do not have to be small; you can have some junk in your trunk.