God has this…hobby. He creates perfection. This world is not perfect. We have to learn to separate illusions from reality.
BILL HICKSI just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, ‘What’s wrong?’ Nothing. ‘Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.’ Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Let’s do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who’ve seen me before might know that.
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It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
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[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is…thinking, ‘This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.’
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May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps… sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
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I don’t do drugs anymore… than, say, the average touring funk band.
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To me pornography is…spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
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People often ask me where I stand politically. It’s not that I disagree with Bush’s economic policy or his foreign policy, it’s that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
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I’m sorry if any of you are Catholic. I’m not sorry if you’re offended, I’m actually just sorry by the fact that you’re Catholic.
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England, where no one has guns: 14 deaths. United States…23,000 deaths from handguns. But – there’s no connection.
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Music is a great energizer. It’s a language everybody knows.
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What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
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I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.
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How do I know the Bible isn’t the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand…considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!
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I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York… Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
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How are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we’re all one?
BILL HICKS